Such a beautiful title, isn't it. I mean I was going to name it how to have a Spiritual Breakthrough. That's so much more positive and affirming and fun. The enlightenment is what we all want, what we are all searching for. But the truth is, that the only way to have a spiritual breakthrough is to have a spiritual breakdown. And yet, the breakdown is where we resist. Where we kick and scream and fight against nature. Where we think we surrender, but we still haven't.
I remember driving in my car and turning on Oprah on Youtube several years back. I remember hearing her story of surrender and in the car praying to God of my surrender. But the truth was that I didn't surrender at all. I desperately wanted to, but really I was just hoping that God would finally give me what I wanted, begging for answers I would need to get the outcome I was desiring. Does this sound familiar? This is bargaining, though, not surrender.
True surrender is not bargaining using your head and what you think you want. Surrender is finally letting the whisper in your heart lead the way when it's against everything in your head. Surrendering is going in faith. It's literally walking through the fog with a blindfold on and letting every other sense of awareness heighten: finding the rhythm of your breath, reaching out to feel your way, asking for help, listening for all of the nuances. Surrendering is getting kicked down in the fog and having to stand back up alone. Surrendering is losing people along the way. Surrendering is showing up when you have no idea when the fog will lift. Surrendering is one of the most scary and lonely and painful times. It hurts everyday to know you are on the right path, without proof, and you have no idea when the proof will show up.
But you have no choice.
Because you have been back there. You know with complete certainty that the past isn't your future. Because as you continue to wander in the dark, the voice of clarity gets louder.
This is a spiritual breakdown.
You keep going. The fear starts to get a little less because you trust you a little more. You don't need your sight to gauge if you are living your life right, because as you trust, you start showing up as you a little more. The real you. Not the crafted version of yourself that you think you are supposed to be because your mom thought that's who you were or because of the achievements and recognition you've received, or even because you told everyone that's who you are. You couldn't be trusted then. You weren't the real you.
But now you are. And the more you go this route, the more people will see and feel the real you. You are magnetic because what everyone is really longing for is the courage to find their true north. This is where the love comes in. You become a pillar and inspiration because you learned how to love yourself and stand up to the world in spite of what messages society was spewing at you.
The fog starts to lift a little and you can feel that life isn't so heavy anymore. The air isn't so thick. The pain is starting to subside and taking the steps are just a little bit easier. You know now that even with an uncertain outcome, you absolutely took the right path.
And finally, the blindfold comes off and what is in front of you is your life. The life you were always supposed to live. And guess what? It's exactly as you pictured it to be. The colors are brighter and songs bring more joy. You suddenly don't find yourself needing a glass of wine every night and don't need to scroll endlessly. Love and relationships and health and success, it just all starts to come a little more naturally and the results show up a little quicker. Life begins to appear effortless and those that were not on this journey with you will wonder how in the world you are able to do all the things. How you got handed the lucky card.
When the real truth, of course, is that you took the brave route of letting life completely unravel instead of bargaining. You let it fall apart and picked up all of the tiny pieces, one by one.
You had a spiritual breakthrough.
I'm a messy hair lovin' - soulful book junkie - mompreneur who's totally addicted to helping women design a life they lovI'm here, simply, to share my truth so that it inspires you to live yours! To be your boldest, most authentic self, to find your tribe that supports your soul, and to go after success in every area of your life. e.