Fear. Holy crap. Once I realized that every doubt, every skepticism, every self-sabotaging behavior, ALL OF IT, came down to FEAR, my life changed. It almost makes me sick to my stomach to think how scared I was for SOOOOO LONG and how that fear prevented me from really going after it. Most people would call this taking risks, but it’s only risky when you’re fearful.
My biggest fear by far is what others would think of me. I was scared when I wasn’t as far along financially as I thought I should have been. Then I was scared of what others would think of me for bringing in more money through entrepreneurship. I was scared of what my mentors would think for trying to go big. Scared to play small, scared to play big... just keep me in my average size box. I was so freaked for so long that I am surprised I wasn’t afraid of my own shadow. While I was experiencing this, I didn’t know to identify it as fear, but when I finally got in touch with my purpose, it all became abundantly clear.
Some of the most common fears are fear of failure and fear of success. I am no stranger to either of these. Fear of failure is probably deeper for me. It’s what stops me from starting and completing things. What if it doesn’t work???My husband thinks this is totally asinine... 'It's not working NOW... what do you have to lose?' What? I don't know. My ego? Time wasted? So finally I had to realize that taking a chance wasn't failure it all. It was just part of your learning path. Sometimes you learn what works and sometimes you learn what doesn't work. But every step you take forward is a step closer to figuring it out. There's only one sure path to failure... and that's not starting at all.
Then there is the fear of success. For me, this has been the glass ceiling that I have built for myself. It was almost as if I wouldn’t be able to keep the friends and relationships that I have now if I outgrew them in success. But I have also had this limiting belief that I was only allowed to get so far, to become so successful. Anything beyond that was somehow reserved for the lucky or blessed or hand-picked. It just wasn't meant for me. This belief has really limited me from believing I could have success no matter how hard I tried. Overcoming this belief has been my biggest hurdle.
And let's not forget the fear of change. The unknown. What you can't control. In many areas of my life I became kind of a control freak as a way to attempt to keep some level of certainty in my life. Uncertainty was scary. Who knew what was on the other side. I thought control would keep me safe from the unknown. But it really just kept the fear balled up inside of me... nearly suffocating me.
What are your fears? How are they holding you back?
Now whenever I am faced with a critical decision or want to change something, I have to do a Fear self-check. Am I holding back or changing directions out of fear? Or is this moving me closer to my best self?
Fear will never go away, but many times it can show you that you are on the right track, once you show your fears who's Boss(babe).
I'm a messy hair lovin' - soulful book junkie - mompreneur who's totally addicted to helping women design a life they lovI'm here, simply, to share my truth so that it inspires you to live yours! To be your boldest, most authentic self, to find your tribe that supports your soul, and to go after success in every area of your life. e.