I find myself floating somewhere between sadness and regret for being so blind to how I have been tackling my life and gratitude for the realization and finally giving myself the time and space to work through it all.
For such a long time, I have been on a treadmill. Sprinting to nowhere. I thought if I could just muscle through some of the difficult parts of my life, on the other side would be the promise of bliss. Lord knows I’ve tried every ‘act as if’ exercise in the book. But it just didn’t seem to work out that way. I still find myself worried that “checking out” of the places where I have placed so much emphasis will in someway slow my progress down. But then the wisdom in me, comes in with a much louder voice, assuring me this is the furthest thing from the truth. That without this time of space and grace I will forever remain on that treadmill… next stop nowhere.
So what kind of real change do I anticipate will take place? I am not sure. So far, I have had a massive cut back on my zone out time throughout the day which has led to a massive increase in my satisfaction. I have enjoyed my children so much more. Increased my patience. Decreased my anxiety (though we still have work to do there). I have taken some conscious planning into my vision for my home, not just the pretty furniture and wall decor, but what I want it to smell and feel like, how to make my children feel more at home… how to make me feel more at home… and eventually how to make it a more welcoming space for others. I always wanted to have a space where people wanted to be and felt comfortable.
I have also thought about general self-care of myself and my family and how I want to show up for others. For the first time in a long time, I am feeling less afraid of letting others in and more genuinely interested in how I can show up for them. How I can have faith in the reciprocity of love.
I've always been one that will overcomplicate things. And yet, refuse to settle. Because it doesn't matter if I achieve my business goals if I don't achieve my family goals. It doesn't matter if I achieve my impact goals if I risk my health.
You get one life. And success, my friends is a full circle.
I'm a messy hair lovin' - soulful book junkie - mompreneur who's totally addicted to helping women design a life they lovI'm here, simply, to share my truth so that it inspires you to live yours! To be your boldest, most authentic self, to find your tribe that supports your soul, and to go after success in every area of your life. e.