It might be a slight change in verbiage but it was a big change in really creating a life by design. For years, I have been talking about the morning routine. I have been championing the early morning riser squad. It has been like this badge of honor. How early do you get up? 5:30, How early do you get up? 5am! I win.
I would have to get up before my children. if they were waking up at 6, I would get up at 5. If they were waking up at 5, I would begrudgingly try to crawl out of bed even earlier. I would slam my caffeine on an empty stomach. Open my personal development book, hoping to absorb the information before my brain was fully on. If that didn't work, definitely more caffeine was the answer. Morning workout? Sure!
I kid on most of this. It was beneficial in many ways. I loved being ahead of the curve before the kids woke up and had a million requests. I loved a feeling of accomplishment so early in the morning. I loved that I was usually in a good mood to greet them. All of these opportunities for checking boxes was also a major rush for an achiever personality. I could boast, even inwardly that I accomplished more before 8am than some people accomplish all day. Woohoo! Look at me world!
But here's the truth to my morning mutiny:
1) it was built around someone else's perfect morning. Everything that I was doing was because someone else said to do it. And that someone else had successes I wanted so therefore, I thought this is what I had to do in order to gain that same success. If I wasn't achieving it, I was sure that there was something off in my daily habits. While everything I was doing was well and good, its not everything I always needed and my refusal to find a rhythm kept me locked into a militant routine that is so opposite of what my soul longs for.
2) I was tired. So tired. I slept great. 8 hours has always been something I wouldn't compromise on (especially after seeing my sleep-deprived delirium with newborns), but I would be so tired by noon. I gave all of my reserves to my early morning hours and I had very little left for the rest of my day. My family would get the worst parts of me instead of the best parts.
So what did I do??
I slept. I turned the alarm clock off. I let my body wake up when it wanted to wake up. And you know what time that was? 6ish, maybe 6:30. On somedays, even 7. I slept the delicious hour. I slept when I knew that meant my kids could wake me up and that if they did, I would be behind the eight ball. I slept knowing that they could, indeed, be my alarm clock. And I woke with gratitude when they were, " thank you God, for these beautiful beings that bless my world."
Yes, that meant that breakfast wasn't ready when they woke up. Yes that meant sometimes I still had a little sleepy head when they were level ten. But, yes, I did grow more patient. I did embrace their early morning energy. I tuned into them. I let them be my morning dose of positivity.
I stopped going to the gym, too. I enjoy the gym. I do. But I was hustling in the morning to sit in morning traffic, get a high intensity workout in with my aching autoimmune body, and again, exhausted by noon. Luca and I would have very little quality time before it was time for lunch and a nap. My workouts have seasons. I may very likely return to high intensity soon, but for now, my body and mind crave yoga and running. So I do that.
I set my intention for my day. I use the Danielle Laporte, Desire Map and get in tune with what I want to do and achieve. I sit with my true feelings for the day. Sometimes that means extra nurturing, sometimes it's extra creating. Sometimes my focus is all about my health and I spend most of the day in the kitchen or meal planning. And sometimes its all on my family and I research homeschooling and designing spaces. Because my task list is more around how I want to feel, I am far more productive because I am not fighting my flow of energy. I have accomplished tasks that have sat on that list for years! (Did you see my dresser makeover?!)
Here's the point:
So often, we want to know what to do. It's like just give me the items to check off and I will do them. Give me the how-to's. Yet, the trouble with that is that everyone's how-to's are different and when we just teach the how'o's we are missing the point. We are not about just achieving goals and checking boxes. As humans, we are after emotions. We all want to feel a certain way. Some of us achieve that feeling through a certain set of steps, but just because you do the steps, doesn't guarantee you will arrive at the same feeling. Finding the feeling, is finding the heartbeat, the rhythm, ga-gung.
I'm a messy hair lovin' - soulful book junkie - mompreneur who's totally addicted to helping women design a life they lovI'm here, simply, to share my truth so that it inspires you to live yours! To be your boldest, most authentic self, to find your tribe that supports your soul, and to go after success in every area of your life. e.