I type words as they spill from my soul. They are the downloads from the universe, the lessons in action, and the truth as I am seeking it.
I have this longing. This unsettling in my soul. I have been carrying it all day.
It started with my morning meditation. Anxiety. That's what I felt. Why anxiety? What is this here to teach me? That is the question I have learned to ask myself. Through so much trial and error, I have realized that everything that doesn't work out, doesn't for a reason. So a constant reminder when my feelings bubble to the surface, What is this here to teach me.
For a long time the answer was that I was on the wrong path. Then the path was right but I was still a hair to the left or the right. In this moment, I can say with absolute certainty that my compass bearings are solid. So what was it?
My mantra repeating over and over, what is this here to teach me.
I walk in the house and hubs can tell I'm despondent. What's wrong?
Want to talk about it?
I ramble on for a minute with the complexities and he offers solutions. For the first time since I ever wanted to employ myself, I am certain in my direction, in my action, in my work. So what is it?
Tears roll down my face. I look at him clearly and let him know that I don't want him to sooth or fix in this moment. I want him to let me have this. These tears. That they have been building and they need to be released.
He helps me process and strategize and I pull a few things that are helpful. And I get curious. Maybe this is why. This is why I am anxious so that I could cry and have this conversation and get just one more strategy that could be helpful.
It's in this moment that I remember the value of emotions as our best teachers.
Sister, if you are not crying over your goals then you are not pushing yourself to grow. But as a high achiever, we are in this thing together. So often I have cried over my woes and the thing I felt first was loneliness. That I am the only one going through this feeling and therefore, I am the one that is missing something. That loneliness leads to lack. The feelings of not good enough and not worthy enough. I can't tell you how often the ole "who do you think you are" text has played through my head. And that lack leads to anxiety.
What made this all more intense was the fear. The fear that if I carry this negativity that I am going to manifest more negativity. So let me just smile, listen to another podcast, and try to PD my way out of this. All the while attracting shit and wondering what the hell I am doing wrong.
Can you feel me.
Spiritual Bypassing. Mindfulness. Manifestation. Oh My.
Following your truth is just that: Your truth. On the Gram, our truth is supposed to look like purpose and good lighting and only aftermath of our lessons. But following our truth can also lead us down some dark holes. Unknown. Uncomfortable feelings.
TRUST THEM. Because even the ones that don't feel so fun contain your truth. Trying to get them to go away by sticking your fingers in your ears and going "LA LA LA LA LA" will only continue to attract more shit because you still feel it. You haven't processed it. It's OK to feel and to process. That's mindfulness of your emotions. Being able to just notice and see the lesson. And processing it is how you pull the weeds from the root so your garden can harvest.
So today I felt anxious.
Because I desperately want you to feel less alone.
And today after chatting with hubs, instead of texting me a Gary V podcast he text me Jason Mraz.
And today, even through the anxiety... BECAUSE of the anxiety... was a good day.
I believe to my core that you, and all of us, were born with two gifts that will absolutely transform the world as we know it. Two gifts that we have been taught to doubt. The very gifts that will eliminate the fear, anxiety, and loneliness that we all feel everyday. The very feelings that keep us playing small, doubting ourselves and our worth, and that overshadow our light can be gone so all that's left is truth. Your truth and gifts that you are meant to share with the world.
This first gift is your intuition. A mother's intuition. A woman's intuition. This is not called upon and world renowned for no reason. This is pure and it's true and it's honest. A woman's intuition is genius and it's your light. The answer to every question in your heart, lives in your intuition. But over the years and decades from sexism and patriarchy we have learned not how to trust this gift, but how to doubt it. How to question ourselves. How to look outside of ourselves and please others. We have been taught that we are meek and not the genius goddesses that we are. This intuition, my sister, is all knowing. And that power can change the world - starting with yours.
The second gift is our instinctual drive for collaboration. Fight or flight isn't the instinctual response for all; it's the instinctual response for men. For women, our instinct instantly goes to leaning in. Nurturing and mending bridges. The irony is that we have been trained to not trust one another. To put each other down. To feel a constant inadequacy and competition among our fellow sisters. This is not our truth. Our truth and our brilliance is when we collaborate. When we celebrate each other's victories. When we recognize that by being strong in some areas and weak in others doesn't mean we are deficient; it means we are greater than the sum of our parts. That it takes a village. And that we can do more together than we can apart. Because you are good with words and I am good with numbers, does not mean that I am not good enough because I am not as good as you. Instead it means, THANK YOU. Thank you for providing this strength in an area that I am weak and in turn, I will lend you my strengths and together we can both be celebrated and both contribute to solving the problem at hand. We are sisters.
So you see, sister. The very answer to all of our problems is right here. Right here inside of each of us, yet also among all of us. Why? Because we are not meant to do this life alone. We are not meant to feel lonely. We are not meant to be riddled with doubt. We are meant to unify the force of our individual strengths through the all-knowing intuition. And we are meant to change the world.
I am entering almost a decade of being an entrepreneur. Insane. And y'all, I was not the little girl with the lemonade stand. I knew nothing about business and had no desire to learn. I had a desire to solve a problem - helping women live their best life, which started my path in wellness. I would've happily taken a job in that niche if there was one. And since there wasn't I decided to make one for myself.
That's it. No interest in sales and marketing. And (shhhhh) no interest in building a business for big revenue. But if you want to employ yourself, excel at the parts you are good at, keep food on the table and abundance in your heart, you have to learn those other pieces. So I did.
I learned marketing and social selling. I learned how to network and build relationships. And I have even learned everything about building websites and shooting pictures and about a million other skills that I had no desire to learn - all to help women.
But guess what happened along the way. While you are learning these skills. You learn that FEAR SELLS. Think about it - everything we are fast clicking on these days is because we have this fear. Fear of missing out on the deal. Or fear of missing out on the results. Fear that we will be less than if we live without. Fear that there is something wrong with us that needs to be fixed.
I have sold everything from nutrition shakes to haircare products and my first online course was called FEARLESS, but guess what I really sold- the fear of being tired, fear of being fat, fear of bad hair days, fear of missing time with your kids, fear of not being enough...
This fear-based marketing isn't new. I remember the first presidential election that I was capable of comprehending. George Bush vs. Michael Dukakis. I don't remember much but I do remember an ad campaign or maybe it was a debate where George Bush attacked Michael Dukakis and all I remember thinking was how icky that was and felt. Why couldn't he just stay in his strengths. Why did he need to attack someone else to make himself look good? My little 7 year old self was able to pick up on Love over Fear.
And now here we are in today's world where Fear is our main method for capitalizing on others.
But as I started to identify the real problem I am meant to solve - helping women overcome fear, anxiety, and loneliness, I realized that I cannot in good conscious be the creator of more fear in anyone's life - even if it means that they inevitably get to me and I can help them, which I know is the rationale for good-intended business owners. I cannot condition people to make choices from a state of fear. So that has been a marketing commitment for me.
I share this with you, not as a way to get a glimpse in my marketing strategy, but really as a way of bringing light to this area. A way for us all to call on greater awareness of how we respond to our emotions and to begin assessing our reactions that are rooted in fear. Because when we stop making fear-based marketing successful, we actually open a new path of love.
I'm a messy hair lovin' - soulful book junkie - mompreneur who's totally addicted to helping women design a life they lovI'm here, simply, to share my truth so that it inspires you to live yours! To be your boldest, most authentic self, to find your tribe that supports your soul, and to go after success in every area of your life. e.