Do you have those people where your soul just feels better in their presence? For years, I have loved my yoga studio and the owner, Jill. Sometimes I am there weekly and other times 6-12 months will pass. But no matter what, it’s a place I can call home. On this same day. The day that I decide to do this 21 Days of Intentional Living. The day my heart finally says enough, one more thing happened. I ran into Jill. It’s been many months since I’ve seen her at all. After an emotional message, I go to say hello. Give her a hug. And I can cry again just thinking about it, but she gave me that extra long hug. That real embrace. Not just the superficial girlfriend hug. There in the middle of everyone leaving, she gave me a real hug. And after that hug, I wanted to cry right there. She looked me in the eye and asked so simply, yet sincerely, “how are you?” No matter how out there I am, how pulblic my life is, I often feel so unworthy of real love. Of a real embrace. Of real care for my feelings. Of anyone really seeing ME.
I have been everyone else’s everything for so long. The mom, the leader, the therapist. Now I don’t even know how to let anyone else in? I don’t know how to be worthy of other’s care and concern. To let anyone hold me or ask me about me without feeling the hurried need to reciprocate... to take the eyes and attention off of me.
As public as I am. No one actually sees me. How the fuck did she see me?
But more importantly, how can I finally let my guard down enough to be seen... be vulnerable enough so that I can really see you.
Because this is love. This is where the magic of real relationships happen.
I'm a messy hair lovin' - soulful book junkie - mompreneur who's totally addicted to helping women design a life they lovI'm here, simply, to share my truth so that it inspires you to live yours! To be your boldest, most authentic self, to find your tribe that supports your soul, and to go after success in every area of your life. e.